Easy. Peasy. Done.

Some decisions have been really easy.

I mean ridiculously so. I bring it up, we discuss for maybe 10 minutes, tops, decision gets made.

Easy. Peasy. Done. lol

Which decisions? 

Favors: We will not be doing favors. I know I had this great idea but apparently no one in Utah does favors, M had never even heard of them. As I mentioned before, I understand that they are a kind of "Thank You" for the guests, but I have a hard time deciding to fork out $3 to $5 for a knickknack that most will forget, and we will end up throwing away. While we both really like the donation idea, if favors aren't really necessary, we would rather invest that money back into the wedding.

Cake: Traditional cakes are beautiful, don't get me wrong. Gorgeous even. How could you not love visions such as these?

I don't even like pink, but this is beautiful!
Photo by o'holysweet! on Flickr

I love square cakes! So cool.
Cake from pinkcakebox.com

We even know someone who is an AMAZING cake artist, and needs to go into business (**hint, hint** you know who you are....:D )

However, traditional tiered cakes bring in a whole new set of costs. More plates, more utensils, someone to cut it... So, we're nixing that in favor of cupcakes. Oh, we'll have some kind of small round for us to cut and share, but for everyone else? Cupcakes. Delicious and beautiful cupcakes. Mmmmmm...

Groom and groomsmen attire: Tuxes are a bit stuffy, and not really "us", and the rentals don't fit well. Suits are a good stand-in for some, but again, not really "us" and not all of the guys would use it again if we asked them to purchase one. Not to mention that M and at least one of his groomsmen are tall guys and not all shops carry tall sizes. (Which is a travesty.) So, we're going to go with some kind of vest and slacks/khakis/jeans, and I'm thinking Chucks, but that's yet to be determined. M is not on board for Chucks, I might get outvoted on this one. (So this one is not quite finished, but the big decision is made, so it counts right?) I'm thinking something like these...

Image via ruffledblog.com

Except they'd all match, well, maybe match. lol
Image via greenweddingshoes.com

Photo Booth: Perhaps a bit overdone in some circles, it's still a novel idea here in Utah. And everyone I tell is super excited. Although he says otherwise, I don't think M was entirely sold on the idea right up front. He was willing to go along with it, but was unsure of the success. That is, until a coworker of his said that he'd seen it at a wedding, and it was a complete hit. And then M's mom got in on the action and said that she a) LOVED THEM and b) thought it was a fantastic idea. So, while the cost may become an issue for this one, we're totally on board if we can swing it. (And we're planning on heading to the local goodwill store for some cheap props, because they can only make it more awesome!)


See? Four decisions, DONE. :D

Now to decide the big stuff. (You know, when and where... lol)

But but but but.....

...I wants it!!

Obviously, being engaged is making me look more carefully at all the shows and blogs that I frequent.

And I'm making Excel spreadsheets with pricing, and lists of potential ideas, and venues, and, and, and trying to figure out exactly what I want. (Which is more difficult than it sounds, simply because I know a lot of the gamut of what's available. *le sigh*) Don't believe it when people say that planning for yourself is easy when you've done it for other people, they lie. lol

And though, for now, my spreadsheet lists prices that are pulled mostly from thin air (we'll call them "educated guesses") some of the items I'm pricing out are coming in very close to what I hoped was a *high* estimate. Discussing them a bit with M, he of course had the very sensible attitude of "we'll just cut non-essentials, or bring them down drastically" to which I had the equally opposite albeit internal response of "but I WANTS it!!"

Because I do. Just the way I'm envisioning. I really want that dress (which could be on sale by the time I'm buying) and I want those photographers, from Florida, nevermind that we live in Utah, and it's expensive to fly them out here. I. Want. Them. And I don't want to sell my coveted dress afterward, because I think it would be fun to have a "trash the dress" session. Very in vogue right now, but I think it would be totally fun, especially given that M is a HUGE baseball fan. Can you imagine playing in your wedding dress? :D

Kind of like this... (without the sliding, I'd break my ankle, haha)

Video is The Ultimate "Trash the Dress" Session by Keith Cephus from Vimeo.

All of this dialogue takes place in my head, of course, in a matter of moments. My inner two-year-old and my semi-sensible-adult duking it out, but still both leaning towards the more spoiled-brat side of, but why NOT?!?

M then stated his main point. A very good point. Simply that, although he doesn't want me to look back and think "I wish we had done this" (one which I'm sure my mother would agree with) and he really wants me to have everything I want (because, and I quote, "at the end it is your (meaning me) day, not just ours, and you should get exactly what you want") he also wants to make sure I keep my eyes firmly planted on the fact that this is a celebration of the life we would be beginning together. Not the photo booth that would be totally fun, but pricey, or the centerpieces that have yet to be designed, but the fact that we love each other, and will be spending the rest of our lives together.

Everyone together now... awwwwww

I'm glad that he can kick my crazy planning in the rear and bring me back. Because he's right. It's not about the bridesmaids' dresses. It's not about whether or not he wears a tux or a suit, or whatever, or even the venue. It's about us.

So while my inner two-year-old fights the good fight, M is amazing, and will bring me back. And at the end of it all, it will be amazing and I will love it.

Sorry two-year-old me. Certain things are more important.
(Including not turning into the biggest bridezilla ever. :D )

What about you and your plans? Anything that you crave? Anything that you've had to remove for cost reasons?

Bridesmaids Part II

(This is part two of an earlier post, see it here if you want to start at the beginning...)

So... bridesmaids. How many is too many? Who should be included? Do I really need to stop at three?

I've always figured I'd have three bridesmaids, including the MOH. Why? I don't know. Maybe because my mother had three, maybe because it always bugs me when I see brides with 12. (Are all twelve of those women really that close to you? Really? Don't you have to sleep at some point?)

I've since changed my mind. Well, I've discussed it with those that are older and wiser, and decided that my cap of three was exceedingly naive. Like I said, I don't know where it came from, but now it's gone, so

Keep moving forward!! - Image via miceage.com
(I LOVE this movie!! :D)

So, after much discussion, I realized that while 12 was still excessive, having a couple of "additional" bridesmaids was only my problem, no one else cared. And after discussing the role of bridesmaids (they are not just my support staff they are our support staff, and the same goes for his guys) and after a lot of soul searching for who and what I wanted about my original ideas and choices, it was decided.

I will have all of them. :D

J (who I sadly don't have a digital picture of at the moment) will be my MOH. Why? Because. She is my best friend, my support, my laugh buddy, geek-out partner, and so many other things. To not have her be my MOH would be a travesty. It is so understood between us that this would happen, I didn't even really have to ask and she was planning things. :D (I did ask, btw, wanted to make sure she had the opportunity to turn it down if she so wanted. She didn't. lol)

Next up? N. My sister, partner in our sibling crime syndicate (seriously, you and your siblings are like a mini-mafia, think about it...) and cheerleader/bodyguard. (No picture of her either... :( What is wrong with me?)

In no particular order...

Mi. - To be honest, it's ridiculous that we became friends. Against all odds really, but I love her. She was my manager at an unnamed corporate coffee giant ;-). I don't get to see her often enough, miss her terribly, and haven't yet had the opportunity to ask, but given how excited she was when I told her I was engaged, I have very little doubt she'll say yes. (And scream - loudly. lol)

A - We've known each other as long as I've known J, and they've known each other much longer, but weren't really good friends until mythology/photography class in high school. :D Her husband tells us constantly that our friendship makes no sense. We could not see or talk to each other for months, and then hang out like no time has passed at all. The more I thought about it the more I could not imagine the day without her. She wasn't expecting to be asked, which made it really special when I did.  She's also signed herself up to be my personal bouncer if I feel someone needs to be told what-for. (as have several others) and she's willing to dress in whatever obnoxious color I choose, and she will force the other girls as well if necessary. (Hopefully she'll be excited with my dress decisions.) Having that love and support means a lot. (From everyone, not just her. :D)

Ja - M's sister. I don't know her all that well, but every time we've spent time together it's been a blast. I have very little doubts that we'll become close as time passes, and she'll be wonderful to have as we begin our new family.


Junior Party Person - Ch. She's cute, she's cuddly, and she's my littlest biggest fan. Haha. I don't like the term "Junior Bridesmaid" but she's almost too old to be a flower girl (and will be by the time the wedding happens). So I unabashedly stole the title "Party Person" from Ms. Ferris Wheel at weddingbee.com (Seriously, go check it out, those ladies are AWESOME.) and added junior to the front of that. It sounds way cooler. lol

So there you go. I can't picture anyone else I'd rather have up there, and wouldn't really want to take anyone away. We'll be lopsided, because I think M is looking at six guys (and two ring bearers), but that's okay. We don't need to match. Why? Because we're awesome like that!

Next up in the Bridesmaids saga: shopping!!!

Bridesmaids Part 1

Such a funny movie! - Image via dailystab.com

This is labeled "Part 1" because I actually wrote this post several weeks ago, but never got around to finishing, editing, and then posting. I since then have made several decisions, and actually started asking, but in an effort at full decision-making disclosure here is the first half. :)

In the course of this I've been thinking about who I want standing as my "support staff" ** on the big day. How many people do I want standing next to me? Do we need to have equal amounts? (His "staff" versus my "staff"?)

Two spots are easy for me. Possibly three. (Depending on when this shindig actually goes down.) But then it gets hazy.

My little sister, N, informed me the other day (read as weeks ago, lol) on the phone that she will be my MOH. She cites some long-ago (and forgotten) promise made as small children. I know it had to be loooong ago, because in more recent times (read as the last 55% of my life, literally) I've always planned on my best friend J being my MOH. But not too long, because as extremely small children we fought worse than cats and dogs, to the point of asking my parents if we could take her back and get a new one, as she was obviously broken. She also informed me of a few other... ideas she had. I told her the plan as I saw it thus far (mostly) and she calmed a bit.

Everything aside, N and J are definite placements. J, without whom, many sad sad days would have been even sadder, and who has listened to me and my ranting far more often than anyone, and then my oldest younger sister, N. She's my personal bodyguard (we are VERY protective of each other, mama bear syndrome in full force), and really, my other best friend. I then have another younger sister, who's just at the max age for a flower girl, but who would totally ham it up, or she could be a junior bridesmaid. (Not sure I love that moniker... :/)

But then comes what I have always considered the last available position (more on this in the next post...), as more than three bridesmaids is a lot (although it sounds as though M might have more groomsmen than that). M has a sister, Ja, and he was in her wedding, and so he feels that she should be part of ours, and I have two friends who are very dear to me for different reasons, A and Mi. I lean more towards one friend and the more I think about it, the more I want her there, because not only will she will tell me to sit my bridezilla butt down and take a chill pill, but she will just generally be a hoot and a loving presence that I don't think I want to go without, but I need to consider all of them because they are all important in different ways. (Otherwise I wouldn't be considering them, right? lol) 

What do you think? Is there a cap on an acceptable number of bridesmaids? Do I need to have as many as M has groomsmen? Did you have this many problems deciding?

** I say this not because I think of them as "the help" but more because it is a HUGE job to be there for the bride (maybe not so much for the groom) and to love her even when she goes a little crazy... to be the support that she needs and wants from nobody else. It's meant with love and affection, not to be derogatory in any way.

Shoes

I feel like my brain is skipping all over the place from moment to moment.

The current moment is worried about shoes. Somewhat what shoes will I ask my bridesmaids to wear, but mostly what shoes will I wear?!?!?

Anyone who's known me for any length of time knows that height has always been a big deal for me in dating. (Really, a BIG deal.) In a relationship, I wanted to feel like I was protected, not like I could beat the guy up. Being six foot myself, this is no easy task.

Lucky for me, M is somewhere in the vicinity of 6' 3". (YAY! lol)

Here comes the rub, if I wear any heels that are currently in my possession, I will either be the same height or taller. Not a problem for most, HUGE problem for me, especially since height has been an issue forever. I don't want to be taller, that defeats the point, and although to be the same size wouldn't be that bad, I really would like to be shorter.

So, this puts me in flats right? Except I don't particularly like flats (unless they are sneakers or sandals). I have feet proportionate to my body (read, larger than average) and once fancy flat shoes are bumped up to my size, they can be a little atrocious. I could always wear Chucks or sandals, but I'd need the right dress to pull if off.

And now, thanks to my obsessive reading of the wedding blog-o-sphere, I've seen the beautiful shoes over at figgieshoes.com.

From the Romance Collection - Image from Figgieshoes.com

Handpainted for your particular day. *sigh* gorgeous! (With a price tag to match, ouch.)

It's totally a small personal problem in the grand scheme of things, but a problem nonetheless. :(

To Kid or Not to Kid

Okay, so we keep making what amount to little decisions - at least until we have a venue and a day - but here's a debate that I've heard often in the wedding world.

Should we have an adult only wedding? There are many pros and cons for or against having kids. So when my mom, my wedding planner (:D) called and asked which we were doing, I didn't even call M to discuss.

I can't imagine such an event without the children in our lives. M has two nephews, and through my "Utah family" I have several nieces and nephews, and we adore all of them. And I mean that, to my core. Those kids make me smile, and that's a joy that I can't see having a wedding day without.

I mentioned that we wanted to have ring bearers and a flower girl, and she stated that we could just have those kids, but I can't exclude the rest of the kids.

Later I talked with M about it, and although he played devil's advocated for about 2.5 seconds, he agrees. How could we possibly exclude any of our youngest supporters?

So, kid filled wedding it is!!

Cultural Differences...

Ok, so I'm running into a bunch of little things that I thought were wedding planning staples, that people here in Utah have never heard of.

I'm unsure if it's just a cultural difference between CA and UT, or if it's something else.

For instance, favors. No one in Utah has really heard of these. We've decided not to do them, so there's not a lot of problems there, but it surprises me that a place where weddings happen all. the. time. wouldn't have something like this in place. Seriously, no one has heard of them. After hearing them described, FMIL (future-mother-in-law) K tried to convince us we wanted to do them, but I told her our reasons against them, and she acquiesced.

Another difference? Who gets invited to the ceremony/reception. They traditionally invite more people to the reception than the ceremony, and they do a separate meal for each, with the ceremony meal being much higher end than the reception meal. Which might be a product of the "Catholic Gap" that I've read about in the blog-o-sphere. FMIL K was raised Catholic, and M's parents were married in a Catholic church, so this isn't an unreasonable assumption (at least to my mind). However, in my experience, if you go this route you invite more people to the ceremony than the reception, because the ceremony is cheaper, and only those at the reception get a meal. Of course, I'm also used to the two being very close together, where everyone invited attends both, and M and I aren't really planning on having a Catholic ceremony, so the gap won't be an issue. But who knows? This one confuses me a little...

Slightly related to the last one: RSVP cards. No one here seems to do RSVP cards, which seems expensive. Of course, they're also sending their invites only 2 weeks (or less) before the ceremony. However, with this mentality, you don't know how many people you are feeding, and so you have to plan on feeding everyone you invite. Umm, yeah, can you say pricey? What if only half shows? If we have RSVPs then we can tell the caterer that we won't need food for 150, only 90 (or what-have-you). When I talked to M's parents about this, they both looked at me like I'd just had the best idea ever, and told me so, but they had never heard of them to this point.

Like I said, I don't know if I just happened to hit the cultural wall just right, or if some of what I consider expectations are just CA things (I suspect the former, especially since the blog-o-sphere seems to see things my way) but these are some weird things I've come across.

Sweetening Life: The Proposal

Or - How we got engaged.

Sorry about the twin titles thing, but a wedding blog I read dubs recaps with cute titles related to the blogger's avatar. I've always thought it was cute, and since our first initials are M&M (:D) I couldn't resist.

Anyway, I promised the full story, so here it is.

Months and months ago M and I started talking about going up to Park City to see some of the galleries up there. It was something that we found in common when we first started dating, and we always had the "someday" plan of going up there to just wander around for the day.

Sometime in mid-June M asked if I wanted to go up on July 2nd. We both had the day off (his schedule doesn't include traditional weekends) and it seemed like a good time to go. (He sweetened the deal by suggesting some shopping at the outlets up there. :D How could I say no? lol)

I used to facepaint in Park City on the weekends, and still do occasionally, so I suggested we go the 3rd, then we could actually attend the event I had worked so many times, and see all the galleries, and go shopping. Winning all around. M insisted that the 2nd was really the only day, as he had plans for us on Sunday. What plans? I asked. "Don't worry about it." was the response. (He set me up!! I was totally thinking it was going to happen on Sunday!!)

So the morning of the 2nd comes, we meet at his house, and then head to Park City through a gorgeous canyon, stopping anytime there is something interesting on the side of the road. (Yes, we're apparently those people. lol) He's a little quiet, and I ask several times if he's okay. Yep, perfect, awesome, great, etc. etc. I *subtly* check his pockets for small box-like shapes, but there are none. Content in his assurances, and the fact that I know he's doing something the next day, I relax and enjoy the drive. And the shopping. (We ran through that outlet center faster than I would have thought possible, or maybe that's just because it wasn't me and a bunch of other women?) I ended up with a dress, a new pair of jeans (that fit great, a feat since I'm tall) and a shirt, he gets a shirt and a pair of shorts.

We finally pull into Park City in the early afternoon, and start perusing galleries and stores as we come to them. Our motto: Looks interesting? Let's go! :D M seems to have brightened some, he's not so quiet, and so we just wander and enjoy ourselves. (I'm an oblivious chatterbox when the mood strikes, which probably helped immensely.) We had most the galleries to ourselves, so we took our time and examined each piece as if we were famous art critics. Don't pretend you wouldn't.

When we get about halfway down the street, M suddenly wants to cut across and start up the other side. This strikes me as odd, because I know there are galleries farther down, but okay, sure, why not. (See? Oblivious.)

We went into a couple other galleries on that side of the street, and then we went into one where there were a ton of people. A couple of couples and kids, and just people. The only gallery of the day to have people in it. From my perspective, we wandered around. From M's perspective, he very carefully herded me from one section to another, lol, trying to wait until the gallery emptied. (I'm not unconvinced that the curators might have quietly gone around asking people to leave, one family I was talking to left quite abruptly. "OK kids, time to go!")

Now I was allowed to wander freely, although I didn't know it, and I wandered to one of the back walls and around a false wall in the middle, which I never even looked at. I don't know why, but I just spun around it super fast, not even thinking about it. M stood on the side I had missed and called to me, now in almost another part of the store, "Hey babe, these are pretty cool, you should come look at these."

So I wander back there, and as I come around the corner, I catch my name on the wall. My first thought? "Well, that's weird... why would my name be on the wall?" It looked to be in letter form, framed and hung on the wall of the gallery. So I started reading the letter, and about halfway down I see his reflection kneel.

OMG.

Yep. That's my very first well formed thought. So I finished reading, and spun around, and well, here's the video of what happened from there. :D

Proposal Video

Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to embed it properly. :(

So, there it is! :D It still makes me smile/cry.

I'm ENGAGED!!!

That's right! And you heard it here, ummm, 150th hand. lol (I pulled that number out of thin air, but it could be true. If you are reading it here first then you haven't been on Facebook to see my four or five posts about it. haha)

Part of the reason that it wasn't here first? Well, I had many many many phone calls to make so that my important people didn't hear it from a third party source. (Namely family, don't get upset people I didn't call, I love you too!)

So yes, it's official! It's funny, I knew people would be asking when and where, but my mother started it all 20 minutes after the proposal! Ummmm, yeah, not something we'd really discussed/decided yet. lol (other than the afore-mentioned thoughts)

Details post to follow! (There's a video!!)